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June 21, 2005

NOT FOR KIDS: Conker: Live & Reloaded

He's cute...

He's cuddly...

He's... someone you should keep as far away from your impressionable little gamers as possible!

If this is insultingly obvious, then I apologize. Off you go, then.

But just in case your kid's thumb was strategically placed over that "M" in the bottom left corner of the box (and the other thumb was covering the warning label in the bottom right corner), and all you saw was a quick glimpse of a fuzzy squirrel on the box before your other kids did something to steal your attention away, then this warning is all for you.

Conker: Live & Reloaded was just released for the Xbox yesterday (6/21), by Microsoft & legendary British developer Rare. I'm not going into a lot of review-style detail here, other than to say, "Don't bring this extremely violent, profane squirrel home to your kids!"

This is not a review of whether or not this is a good game for its intended audience (17+). If you want to get it for yourself to play after the kiddies are snug as bugs in rugs, swell. Knock yourself out. But if you're still on the fence as far as your kids are concerned, take a gander at these screenshots:

Allrighty, then?

Note: In my first-ever post, when I wrote "The character is fuzzy & cute, so the game is good for kids, right?", this is the game I had in mind.


  • The N64 game Conker's Bad Fur Day had some mildly adult humor but it was no way a 17+ game. Maybe a 13+ game. But it was certainly no raunchier than most PG-13 movies. I wonder what the new Conker game does to deserve an M 17+ rating?

    By Blogger knight37, at 11:06 AM  

  • Hey, thanks for asking. Yours is my first comment ever. :o)

    I've read a few reviews, and I saw the X-Play episode with the preview of this game, and I don't have any kind of blow-by-blow breakdown of exactly how much more violent/profane Live & Reloaded is than Bad Fur Day. But every review hammers home those 2 aspects (violence & profanity), as well as the giant mound of poo thingy.

    Anyhoo, I may well check it out my damn self down the road, after I get through Resident Evil 4 (I finally started it tonight (hours after the kids went to sleep, of course) - scary Larry!).

    So far, the kids just accept it when I say, "that's a grownup game." We'll see how long that lasts, until I have to start taking more active measures.

    By Blogger Dan, at 11:23 PM  

  • I am tempted to get the new Conker because Bad Fur Day was mostly hilarious and a not bad action platformer besides. There were a few parts, like the "giant mound of poo", which were just disgusting, not funny, but overall the humor was there. And yah, cussing, there is quite a bit of that so maybe that's why they rated the new game 17+.

    Nice blog, btw, I'll point my friends with kids to it. ;)

    By Blogger knight37, at 6:54 AM  

  • Sorry for leaving you hangin', and thanks for the compliment.

    Under the heading of "Once a gamer, always a gamer," were you an Atari kid, or an Intellivision kid?

    I was an Intellivision kid, but only cuz my dad was swayed by the impressive percentages touted by George Plimpton in Intellivision's side-by-side comparative ads.

    By Blogger Dan, at 10:00 PM  

  • Heh, I had an Atari Pong first, then the VCS (2600). But a neighbor had the Intellivision so we got the best of both worlds. Another neigbor got the Atari 800xl when that came out and that's when my programming career began. We were in Jr High at the time and we wrote some pretty aweful games, one was "Dealers", where you were drug smugglers who went from city to city to buy and sell illegal substances (sort of a trading sim) but it also had some "side adventures" like visiting the house of ill repute. Yeah, we were bad. We probably should have formed Rockstar Games. :)

    By Blogger knight37, at 8:43 AM  

  • Sorry for leaving you hanging. I've been preparing lectures & midterms.

    I didn't do much programming, but I did do some in BASIC, on the Apple II and on the Tektronix 4051, which I've read was used to make the cockpit graphics for the X-Wing fighters in Star Wars.

    Then I decided I wanted to just play video games & baseball instead. :o)

    Good times.

    By Blogger Dan, at 1:02 AM  

  • this is a good game for kids who dont speak or understand english

    By Blogger surrealiz3, at 1:07 PM  

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